So, I've started a blog. YAY! I've been keeping a kind of "journal" on the computer, but this is way better and doesn't use as much space! I'm going to post the last few entries I've made on the computer so I can delete them and just start using this as my medium.
10/13/10
Well, it's almost 8pm. I'm lonely. I've had a decent day. I went with Stacy, my neighbor, to turn in my food stamp review paperwork and then to the health dept. to refill my WIC vouchers. Thank God because formula is expensive. My phone is cut off, I'm not complaining because I have no right to. We haven't paid anything towards the bill in probably 2 months. But it means that I am practically cut off from the world. I can receive calls and texts, which makes me realize just how much people think about me, because the phone hasn't rang all day. I got most of the house cleaned and did a load of laundry. Courtney is in the shower now and Carter is napping.
I just wish Aaron would call me or even better... come home.
He's working so hard for so little reward, but I know that things are going to be great very soon... I just KNOW it! God loves us and He wants the best for us so I know it's coming. We just have to be a little patient.
Man, I really miss Aaron. I wish he would have a day off so I could at least SEE him! He leaves around 4:30am and doesn't get home sometimes until 11pm or later! Every once in awhile he'll get home around 6pm and those days are awesome because I get to hear his voice and see his face!
Baby's cryin'.
ok, I'm back. Got Courtney out of the shower and ready for bed. Got the baby calmed down... must be gas.
I love my little family so much. I know that I was a little upset and anxious when I found out I was pregnant again, but in all honesty, I'm glad that Carter is here with us and I know that God has something wonderful planned for him and Courtney, too.
I've been sick the past few days. Runny nose, sore throat, sneezing, typical cold symptoms. Fairly certain I got it from Courtney, because she was sick last week.
It's now 8:30pm and guess what?!?! AARON CALLED ME! I heard his ringtone coming from the livingroom and shot out of this chair like there was a fire!!! I just didn't want to miss his call. He just told me that he ran out of gas... that sucks. But, he got it taken care of.
Wow, I love my family sooooo much!!!
Baby's cryin'.
10/16/10
It's 6:40am, and I'm wide awake. Today is Saturday, which means that I start back to work tomorrow! I'm so ready to work! Plus, it'll be nice to get a little paycheck and contribute to some of these bills that are plaguing us right now. I'm only working 6 hours tomorrow, but I should get more next weekend which means that my first paycheck should be for about 20 hours. That will be almost $200 that we can use towards bills on the 29th. We're gonna catch up on all of this, I KNOW it!!
MATH TIME: RENT - $550, ELECTRIC - $200, TITLE PAYMENT - $180, CAR INSURANCE - $80, PHONE BILL - $75, WATER - $50. That's $1,135 we need to bring in each month. This does not include the money that we still owe for past due amounts.
TOTALS OF WHAT WE OWE RIGHT NOW: TITLE PAYMENT - $1,500, ELECTRIC - $400, MIKE AND VICKI - $370, PHONE BILL - $320, CAR INSURANCE - $160, WATER - $80. That's a GRAND TOTAL of $2,830 that we need to be caught up, and not have to OWE anyone! WOW!!! Can't wait to win the lottery... So let's see... If Aaron can bring in a weekly profit of $300 and I can bring in a weekly profit of $150, that will be $1,800 per month, meaning that we should be able to pay our bills on time and use about $500 per month to catch up on what we still owe. So we should be able to be debt free within 6 months, hopefully sooner!
10/18/10
Well, Saturday at 11:00am, I called Sephora to confirm that I was supposed to be working on Sunday from 1-7... and thank God I did because:
ME: "Hey, Yolanda, it's Renee Sorrow. I talked to Waz earlier this week and she said I'm working tomorrow 1-7. I was just calling to confirm. "
YOLANDA: "Let's see, Renee. You are 12-8 today and 11-7 tomorrow. "
ME: "Ok... I appreciate the level of communication... Um, I'm at home with 2 children and no vehicle... I guess I can call my mom, who lives an hour away and see if she can pick up the kids."
YOLANDA: (chuckles) "You want me to make some calls and see if I can get it covered?"
ME: "HAHA! NO! I want to work."
YOLANDA: "You sure?"
ME: "Yeah, let me call my mom and I'll call you right back."
Anyway, luckily Mom and Donnie came and got the kids. I got to work at 1pm and worked until 9pm. I was supposed to get off at 8pm but Aaron was sleeping and didn't want to pick me up. I finally got in touch with him around 8:35pm and when he said it would be easier for me to get Robbi to bring me home (at 10:30pm!!) I decided I would see if they'd let me work a little longer. What really upset me was the fact that it was the first time in a LONG time that it was just me and Aaron and he couldn't even pick me up from work and spend time with me. I got home around 10:30pm and of course Aaron felt like I was the one who was wrong and that he was innocent in all of it. I wonder how he would've felt if the situation were reversed? What would he think if I told him that it would be easier for a co-worker to bring him home 2 and a half hours after he got off work, than it would be for me to drive 6 MILES to pick him up on time the only night that we had to spend quality time together?!?!
Whatever... I got in 14 hours this weekend and I'm working 12-9 next saturday and 11-7 next sunday. That's a total of 29 hours on my first paycheck which means i'll bring home about $350. And I'm paying mom and Donnie $50 per weekend that they watch the kids. So, I'll have about $250 profit... Hey, that'll pay the car title and car insurance, or the electric bill and water bill, or almost half of the rent!! EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS!! It sucks that Aaron doesn't know how to handle the baby... Then I could get in even more hours...
MAN, IT'S COLD!!!! I've gotta get this place cleaned up really good today so I can have maintenance fix the furnace! Plus, I gotta walk all the way to the front office to pay rent... 18 DAYS LATE!!!
Aaron's next check will have to be used to pay the car title payment (because we pawned the tile and got a loan a few months ago for $1,500). We also will need to pay electric, water, and car insurance with this check... so we need him to bring home a total check AFTER deductions of $1,350!!! Then we can combine my check and his check to pay rent on the 5th of November.
It's 10:35am now. I just got back a little while ago from paying rent. We owed $607 but I gave them a money order for $613, I told him to just put the rest toward our late fee for next month since we won't be able to pay until at least the 5th.
Carter has been a little fussy-butt this morning, he just wants me to hold him all day I guess. I put him in his bouncy chair and he's so tired he's crying and trying to fall asleep at the same time! Maybe he'll tire himself out in a minute and fall asleep for an hour or so.
Well, that's all for now I guess... I like keeping a computer journal. Sometimes I prefer to use my regular journal when I'm in the mood to write, but his is a lot faster!
10/19/10
It's 11:20am. I REALLY do want to get motivated and have the entire house (with the exception of Courtney's room) completely cleaned and organized. It's weird... I WANT to do it, but I can't find the will to do it. I have plenty of energy, and the baby it being really good right now. Speaking of the baby, it's funny, I was just in the livingroom holding him and talking to him. He was cooing and grinning and so happy. I noticed his diaper seemed a little wet and decided to change him and found that he had crapped himself... massively!!! How come he gets whiny before he poops and then is perfectly content sitting in his own crap and letting me bounce him on my knees? WEIRD!! He's in front of the "Halloween" tree right now staring at the lights and cooing! He's so darn cute! I love both of my kids so very much! I never saw myself as having a kid, let alone 2 of them, but now that I do, I can't imagine life any other way.
I guess it's almost time to feed Carter. He seems to be going from cooing to talking with frustration... This is gonna be a good day! It's beautiful outside and I am feeling a lot less sick today. I sure hope Aaron feels better soon, too!
It's 11:28am and I'm gonna go see if I can distract the baby long enough to make him a bottle.
10/25/10
On hold.... 5 minutes and counting.... 7....
Was on hold with the pediatrician's office. I've gotta take Carter up there at noon today for a follow-up visit. It's 11:25am now.... Guess I'd better get ready and go.
10/26/10
It is 5:40am. I really don't want to be awake right now, but Aaron just called me to talk about... nothing. So, needless to say, I'm up. Guess I'll take a nap once I get Courtney on the bus.
I know that I've had an "attitude" with Aaron the past few days. He really upset me yesterday, plus I think I resent the fact that he didn't go to the hospital to see his son Friday night.
Carter was running a high fever (102.2) Friday morning at 3:30am. So I took him to the pediatrician's office at about 10:00am on Friday morning. They wanted me to admit him to the hospital A.S.A.P. because of his age and fever (101.3) and his white blood cell count was really high (21). My mom came and picked us up and we checked Courtney out of school and took him to the hospital in Gainesville.
They drew blood and urine and stuck an i.v. in his head. They tested for flu and rsv and both came back negative. The doctor recommended that we do a spinal tap to test for menengitis. I didn't feel that it was a necessary procedure at that point because the 2 weeks before this Aaron and Courtney had both had a fever and nasal congestion, which were his symptoms as well. I spoke to my Granny Labretta and she advised that we wait 24 hours and if he wasn't getting better or if he was getting worse that we should consider it, because of his age. So, that's what we decided to do. They didn't administer antibiotics because they wanted to have a clear indication of his progress and they wanted us to stay for 48 hours. They checked his vitals all night long. Saturday morning another doctor came in and said that he hadn't had a fever all night. He listened to Carter's chest and asked if he had had any breathing treatments. I said "No.". I told the doctor that he hadn't had any fever reducer, antibiotics, or breathing treatments of any kind. The doctor said that he looked great and sounded great and that if he was still doing that well by 2pm, that they would release us from the hospital.
He was still doing well, so they released us and we left around 3:45pm. Because Carter's white blood cell count was still slightly elevated (16.1) they wanted us to do a follow-up at the pediatrician's office on Monday. So, needless to say, I was glad that we had waited on doing the spinal tap. (When the doctor explained the procedure and asked if I had any questions I said "Yeah, I'm just wondering if you would still recommend a spinal tap if we weren't on Medicaid." Hehe.)
Yesterday, Aaron was off work. I tried to get him to come to the pediatrician with me and Carter, but he wouldn't. He slept really late and the only time he really talked to me was when he was trying to get laid. Let's just say, I felt a little unappreciated. Also, the fact that he had no part of Carter's sickness really frustrates me. Aaron barely even talks to the baby. And I don't recall him picking Carter up not even once yesterday.
Yes, I know that Aaron works. I know that he works hard. I just wish that he would realize that he only gets a few precious hours with his family here and there, and I wish he would take advantage of that time together and actually be "a part" of our lives. Even when Aaron has a day off, I don't feel like I see him.
Well, it's 7:35am now. Courtney is ready for school already, we're just waiting to get on the bus.
Okay, it's now 8:25am. Courtney left for school about 20 minutes ago. Anyway, back to what I was saying. I took the baby to the doctor yesterday morning and he still has had no fever since Friday. They drew blood and his white blood cell count is back to normal (11). We did postpone his 2 month check-up and immunizations since he just got over a fever. We've got an appointment next Monday.
Sounds like he's about to wake up to eat... AGAIN!!! This child is 9 weeks old and weighs 12 POUNDS!! HE'S MY FAT BABY!!
It's 1:10pm... still haven't been able to take a nap. Everytime I lay down and start to doze off the baby wakes up or the phone rings. I just wanted like an hour of sleep, but it doesn't look like that's gonna happen. The house is a wreck but I honestly don't have the energy to clean right now. UGH! It sucks because I want to clean! I'm tired of looking at a mess, but I don't want to get off the couch. Good thing we don't have cable or I'd probably NEVER get off the couch... Well, I guess I'll try and make an effort to clean up a little... at least enough to be comfortable in here.
10/27/10
It's 2:45pm and I just woke up from a little nap. YAY ME!! I've got less than an hour before Courtney gets off the bus. And who knows what time Aaron will be home... Not me, because I've tried calling him all day and he hasn't answered his phone. Halloween is Sunday. I'm working 11-7 and then we're going trick or treating. Unless people will be trick or treating on Saturday... I think we're just gonna go on Sunday... I dunno!
It's been raining almost all day. I wanna walk to the gas station to get a pack of cigs but I'm afraid I'll get the kids caught in the rain. Plus the cigs there are really expensive. Oh well, I know I need to quit anyway. It's just really difficult.
I need to do dishes and laundry, too. Those tasks seem to be somewhat difficult as well!
I seem to have run out of things to say.
It's 4:35pm now and guess what... it's raining again. I've started cleaning the livingroom and doing the dishes. Now, I'm smoking cigarette butts... how pathetic.
10/29/10
Yeah, so, last night Aaron accused me of "not being a team player". It's funny, I don't recall him being a team player when Carter was in the HOSPITAL, or when I needed a ride home from WORK, or EVERY FREAKIN DAY HE'S OFF AND NOT SPENDING TIME WITH HIS FAMILY!! HE'D RATHER SIT IN THIS SMOKEY DISGUSTING BEDROOM DOING HIS MUSIC OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!
He claims I wasn't being a team player because I didn't want to get our kids out of bed at 4:30am to take him to work and then drive all the way back home to get Courtney on the bus and then drive all the way to Decatur to pay HIS ticket for running a stop sign and then drive all the way back home again to get Courtney off the school bus and then drive back to Tucker to pick him up and then all the way back home again!!! When was he thinking that I would have time to feed the baby or change his diaper? Plus the fact that I'd be in frickin traffic all afternoon! What would've happened if I wasn't here in time to get Courtney off the bus?
I'm not a team player? I haven't asked him once to get up with the baby in the middle of the night. I haven't once demanded that he change a dirty diaper. I'm the one that will stay up all night to make sure HIS clothes get washed and dried. I'm the one that knows what bills are due and who to pay them to. I'M the one that cleans the house, cooks dinner, does laundry, helps with homework, gets Courtney to and from school, feeds the kids, gets little sleep, cleans the litter box, feeds the animals, shops for groceries, notices that the car needs air in the tire and oil (even though I never get to drive it!), keeps track of Courtney's school activities, makes sure he's awake, PAYS ANY ATTENTION TO THESE KIDS!!!! And he had the NERVE to act like I don't do anything?!?!
I rarely ask for anything, and when I do it's for him to step away from the music for an hour or two and spend time with his family, me and the kids... And he can't even do that. If he really doesn't want to be around us, then so be it. I won't say shit to him. The only time he talks to me is when he wants to get laid, anyway...
But one day he's going to wake up and wonder why he doesn't feel like a part of this family. He's gonna wonder why the kids respond to me more than him. He's gonna wonder why they talk to me and not him. He's going to wonder where the years went and why he missed them growing up... and it's all going to be his fault. His own fault that he is too preoccupied with other things and puts his family on the back burner. His own fault that he's not here for us when we need him. And if he's not careful, he's going to have the same relationship with his kids that I have with my father. We rarely speak and when we do, it's awkward. We see each other maybe once a year. We say "I love you." because we feel obligated.
So, I'm going to let him have his time to himself. Let him sit in here chain smoking and making music. I hope he's happy.
10/30/10
It's about 6am. On a Saturday. Courtney doesn't have school. I don't have to work. And I'm still up at 6am. Bummer. I was really hoping to catch up on a little sleep. I guarantee I will be taking a nap today!! And it's going to feel so good! Tomorrow is Halloween. I'm going as a farmer, Courtney as Snow White, Carter as a baby. I don't know yet if Aaron will be joining us. I certainly hope so. I got my schedule changed so that I get off at 5pm tomorrow instead of 7pm. That way i'll have time to come home and get Courtney ready and do Stacy's (my neighbor's) make-up.
11/03/10
I've had a few busy days the past few days. On Sunday, I had to take Aaron to work in Tucker at 5:00am, then come home and get ready for work myself. I left here at 8:45am to take the kids to the church and drop them off with Mom and Donnie. Then I got to work at 9:40am. I was scheduled at 10:00am but the opening manager (Nirinya) didn't show up until 10:35am. Work was hectic and insanely busy (it was Halloween). I was supposed to leave at 5:00pm but didn't get to clock out until 10 minutes after. I came home and got Courtney dressed in her costume, then I did my neighbors makeup and Courtney's makeup. We left a few minutes before 7pm to meet Robbi at the mall and follow her to her sister Ambra's house. Then we went trick or treating for about an hour and a half. We finally got home about a quarter til 10pm. I was so tired I passed out, and so did Courtney. Monday, I took Courtney to school, then Jadon to his doctor's appointment. He got his 2 month shots and they said he looks great. He's now 13lbs. 4oz. and 22 and 1/2 inches long. After that we went to the mall to see Star and visit Sephora so I could take Misha a pic I drew for her. Then we went to Kroger and got infants tylenol for Jadon. We came home and me and the baby both took a nap until about 3pm. Then I changed an explosive diaper (ewwww) and Donnie showed up to show us his Little People Furniture. Then Courtney got off the bus and we went back to the mall to see Star again and buy some makeup for my mom. Then we went to Walgreens to pick up a prescription for Jadon for his yeast around his little willie. Then we finally got back home and cleaned up a little. The day went by so fast!
Then yesterday, Tuesday, Courtney didn't have school. Aaron had a training from 8am-1pm. I found out the his bank account was overdrawn $146 and broke down in tears. I am so ready for a change. I hope Courtney and Jadon don't ever remember us having to struggle like this. I want what's best for my kids. I don't want to have to move her to a different school, AGAIN! I remember what it was like to move every year and have to start over making friends and losing good friends every year. I remember feeling like an outcast pretty much until high school when we finally settled down. I don't want that for my children. I want them to be comfortable. I'm not asking to be rich or immensly wealthy, I don't even know what I would do with that kind of money. I don't want fancy cars, a huge house, nice clothes, jewelry, big screen t.v.'s, internet, cable, the newest cell phones, game systems... NONE OF THAT! I just want to be able to provide a safe comfortable living environment for my children. I want to be able to afford to buy food. I want to have reliable transportation. I want to be out of debt and able to pay my bills on time. THAT IS ALL I'M ASKING FOR!!!
If I won the lottery the first thing I would do would be to pay off all my bills and contribute 10% to the church. It would make me so happy to be able to buy Pastor a bigger building that would be his and help the church grow. I would buy a small crossover type vehicle that would fit the whole family and a little 4 bedroom 3 bath house that is comfortable, not too big. I would put away money for my kids education and future. I would buy Aaron his 2010 Camaro (although it's not a neccesity :) ) I would find a way to help all the people who have helped us over the years. I would buy a house for my parents to put on their own land and pay off their vehicle.
Basically, I need to get $100,000,000. 10 million for the church, 1 million for my parents, 1 million each for the kids, 1 million for bills and random people, and the rest would buy us a house and two cars, and be enough for us so live off of for the rest of our lives!!!
Wishful thinking right... But I would settle for a stable career for me and Aaron that would earn us enough to pay our bills on time. Honestly, I don't need all that money. I don't wish that I never had to work again. I enjoy earning my way! I enjoy working. I just want to not have to cry about our account balance anymore!!!
Well, it's happening. I'm starting to HATE Aaron's music. DESPISE it. Become JEALOUS of it!!! When Aaron is here, that's all he does! He's even starting to stay up until midnight or later knowing he has to be up at 4:30 to get ready for work! Not only is it all he does, it's all talks about. I feel so alone! Why won't he drop it for a couple of hours and spend time with me and the kids? Why can't he stop thinking about it long enough to have a conversation with me? HE'S OBSESSED!! IT'S ANNOYING AND FRUSTRATING! I swear, yesterday, I wanted to throw the computer outside and set it on FIRE I was so irritated! And he plays it so loud! UGH!!!!
OK, it's 11:20am now. I am so tired. I want a nap but I don't think the baby will let me! He's so cute, though, I can't be upset with him! I REALLY need to clean house today. Let's just hope I can find the energy!
11/08/10
Wow! A crazy couple of days! Friday, Aaron fired his employee, Steve. Saturday he brought my brother, Charles, on to work for him. Friday I took the kids to the church and dropped them off with my parents, then I came home and cut Stacy's hair. Saturday I took Aaron and Charles to work then went to Norcross to pick up Charles' puppies medication. I worked from 1-10. Sunday, which was yesterday, I went to church at 9am, then went to Athens and picked up my sister and her boyfriend. We went to our family Thanksgiving dinner. It was fun! Then I had to take them home and go to a dinner meeting for work at Longhorn's Steakhouse... NUM NUMS!! This morning mom brought the kids home. We took Courtney to school and then went to Kroger to get formula for the baby and I used the rest of the WIC vouchers for mom. So now she has plenty of milk, eggs, cheese, beans, cereal, and fresh produce!! Wednesday I have to go to Courtney's school for a parent/teacher conference at 2:50pm... I kinda hope Aaron is off that day, but I doubt he will be.
Busy, busy, busy!!!
11/09/10
Weeeee!!! Things are back to normal. Meaning that I got my babies home and we are back into our regular routine. Tomorrow I have a parent/teacher conference with Mrs. Acevedo, Courtney's 1st grade teacher. I'm excited! I can't wait to hear what she has to say about my little angel!
I must say that I feel bad about how much time I get to spend with Courtney. I feel like the most I get to say to her is "Please, calm down." "Stop doing that." "Be quiet." or "Please, move." I don't think she is just trying to get attention. I think she is just being a normal 6 year old. Yesterday, I played Old Maid with her. I'm trying to make a conscious effort to spend quality time with her while I have down time and don't have to take care of Carter. I don't ever want her to resent her little brother. I want her to love him and look after him. I want both of my children to have strong family ties.
11/11/10
The parent/teacher conference went well yesterday. Her teachers said that she is progressing very well. I've been cleaning and rearranging the house literally all day. It's now 1:34pm and i'm taking a smoke break. Last night Aaron got really pissed at me for not having the house cleaned when he got home last night from work. He was really over reacting, yelling, cussing, talking to himself so I could hear it, and throwing my stuff in the garbage. I told him I would clean today and he still kept going on and on about it.
It's a full time job keeping up with these kids and taking care of them. I wanted to say "When do I get a day off? When do I get to sleep in late? When do I get to do whatever I want, when I want? When do I get to go a full day without cleaning, cooking, feeding kids, changing diapers, helping with homework, getting Courtney to and from school, and doing all the other little things I have do to EVERYDAY?" When Aaron has a day off, he doesn't have to do anything. OKAY, SO I WENT A COUPLE OF DAYS WITHOUT MAKING SURE THE HOUSE WAS FRICKIN SPOTLESS!!! SO WHAT!?!? I still did everything else I was supposed to do, I still took care of our children.
I had to take Aaron to pick up Charles yesterday morning and drive them to Tucker, then come home, get Courtney ready for school, walk her to the bus stop, come back home, take a shower, get dressed, get ready for the conference, pick up Courtney from the bus stop, drive to her school, spend and hour at her school, come back home, feed both kids, do the mommy thing all day, listen to a screaming baby, drive to Walgreens to return movies, go to Tucker to pick up Aaron and Charles, take Charles home, and then finally come back home for the rest of the night.... UGH!!! I did clean up yesterday, the place was disgusting, trash everywhere, diapers everywhere, children's clothes and toys, all kinds of crap!! I just didn't make it immaculate. SUE ME!!! I NEEDED A BREAK!!! I took a couple of naps because I was exhausted. Aaron doesn't realize all I do for this family... and I don't think he even cares. To him it's just woman's work, easy bullshit, but when I left him with the baby and Courtney for 2 HOURS he was freaking out.
How would he feel if he had to do it all alone for an entire day? Would Courtney ever get fed, or her homework done? Would she get a shower and have her hair done for school? Would she be dressed like a ragdoll? Would the baby have to sit in a shitty diaper all day because Aaron refuses to change one? Would he be able to all the motherly stuff I have to do all day and still have all the laundry and dishes done, the floors swept and mopped, the toilet scrubbed, all the trash taken out, toys and books and schoolwork put away, and dinner ready???? He doesn't even know our children's schedules, when Courtney goes to school and comes home, when the baby eats, meetings with teachers, homework, NOTHING!!
Ok, it's almost 2pm. I'd better get back to work before the shit hits the fan today.
Welp... it's 7pm now. I've got most of the house done, well, half of it anyway. I still need to sweep and mop and fold laundry. I haven't touched the bathroom yet. We'll see how I feel after I finish the livingroom and bedroom. AND I AM NOT CLEANING COURTNEY'S ROOM! I have to clean and organize her room about once a week, and when I do it it's perfect. But she pulls stuff out and doesn't put it back and had friends over and it gets DESTROYED!! Especially when Rayne comes over to play.
I'm almost done with my cigarette... I guess I'll finish cleaning and make some dinner... I'M STARVING! I haven't eaten ALL DAY just to make sure that I could get this place PERFECT for Aaron. Basically, the only break I've had was when I went to get Courtney from the bus stop. UGH!
11/12/10
It is Friday November 12, 2010 at 9:10am. Courtney isn't in school. So let's recap my night, shall we. I finally got to bed around 12:45 this morning. I was passing out, I was so tired, but I had to wait on Aaron's uniform to get done in the washer so I could put it in the dryer. I woke up around 2:45am because Courtney was wiggling around on the couch. She was burning up to the touch, so I took her temperature. 102.7. I gave her some tylenol around 3am. At 3:30am Carter woke up to eat. I fed him and I kept trying to go back to sleep but Courtney kept waking me up everytime I started to doze off. "Feel my head." "Under the arm or in the mouth?" Well, then it was time to get Aaron up. I drove to the gas station to get cigarettes and gas in the car for Aaron. I got a little bit of sleep off and on, but Courtney's been up pretty much since 3am. She woke me up again to ask me to open a fruit cup for her... At 9am I noticed she was bundled up with her blanket again, meaning she felt cold. So I took her temperature again. 102.2. I just gave her another dose of tylenol. It's 9:27am now and her temperature is 101.9. It's starting to go down again. She was just sick about a month ago. I'm so tired of these viruses making their way around our family. I'm trying to keep her away from Carter, I don't want the pediatrician to hospitalize him again.
I am scheduled 11-8 tomorrow. I really don't want to have to call out. I'm about to call mom and see if she is gonna be up to watching the kids tomorrow and a little bit on Sunday.
Okay, it's 10:37am now. I talked to mom and she's gonna get the kids tonight and I'll pick them up from church on Sunday after my meeting.
Courtney's temperature is steady at 100.4 with medication. I've been giving her water and juice to drink, she's eaten fruit for breakfast and for lunch we're having baked chicken and veggies.
I need to poop.
It's 1:42pm. I just gave Courtney another dose of children's tylenol. Her fever was back up to 102.2.
OKAY!! It's 4:32pm and her fever is 102.4. It's not even time for her to have tylenol yet, so we're just waiting... I just gave her a sheet to cover up with, she thinks she's cold. MY POOR BABY!!!
Carter is being really good today, thank GOD!
11/16/10
I was supposed to hang out with Robbi today. We were gonna decorate our Santa hats for work. I was REALLY looking forward to it, I have been since we made these plans on Sunday. Well, this morning she sent me a text.. that's right... a text, to tell me that her nephews have a basketball game today and they want her to go, and that we can get together on Thursday when she's off again. Needless to say, I'm a little more than disappointed.
I need to learn not to get my hopes up because, 9 times out of 10, I'm disappointed. I got my hopes up about her coming to my family get together, about her hanging out with me a couple of weeks ago (she showed up around 8:30pm with Joe and only stayed a little while), and now today. I just want some company, an adult to talk to, someone to listen to me...
I guess I'll just have to wait.
It's noon right now. I'm smoking a cigarette and contemplating cleaning the bathroom. Hey, I have nothing else to do today, right?
I'm pretty sure she forgot that she was gonna come see me today. I think she probably saw my post on Facebook this morning "Been looking forward to seeing you. Can't wait! But I'll have to because it's only 4:30am. Yay!!" I bet she saw that and thought "Oh crap. I was supposed to go over there today." I wonder if she even really wants to hang out with me anymore.
Well, my cigarette is gone. I guess I'll go do laundry and deep clean the bathroom.
woo.... hoo......
I mean, seriously, how long can a basketball game last? A couple of hours? Certainly not the entire day! Why can't she do both? The only thing I can think of is that she doesn't want to see me today, for whatever reason. Ok, I'm really gonna go clean the bathroom now.
OK, it's 12:24pm. I folded a load of laundry and got another one going. I'm preheating the oven and making me some baked chicken, turnip greens, and rice. I'M STARVING!!! So, cleaning the bathroom will have to wait a little while longer.
Listening to Neal Boortz...haha. It's something to do, I guess.
I ate lunch and then I passed out. Not really tired, just bored I guess. I heard the alarm clock radio in the bedroom, tuned into Clark Howard, while I was asleep on the couch in the livingroom! I heard Clark say "It's 3:35." and I jumped up off the couch and darted out the door just in time to see Courtney's bus driving by my house towards her bus stop!! Now that I've had a couple hours of sleep, I'm so NOT motivated to do ANYTHING in this house, but I will force myself to be productive and try to not think about how bummed I still am that Robbi blew me off. It's 4pm now. Guess I'll go now.
01/04/11
It's officially the new year... I just realized that I didn't write at all during December. A tornado hit Robbi's house on Dec. 1st and Aaron had an accident in the box truck on Dec. 2nd and went to jail for driving on a suspended license. His license wasn't supposed to be suspended. And because of the expenses incurred by the accident, Aaron had to shut down his business. Luckily, he is working with someone else doing the same thing 3 days a week. Anyway, I've been working and it was Christmas and before I knew it, the new year. It didn't feel like Christmas... or New Year's Eve/Day to me. It felt like another day. I've been battling a small bout of depression. I feel so busy, I need a day off. One day where I don't work, or cook, or clean, or change diapers, or help with homework, or any of the stuff I do EVERY SINGLE DAY. And Robbi hasn't helped my feelings at all. She has cancelled plans on me a few times and forgotten to call a few times, but then she'll send me a text saying how I'm her BFF and she misses me and we should hang out... I'M ALWAYS HERE!!! She has no reason not to hang out with me. Aaron... he just feels so far away. I need someone to talk to. All I EVER hear out of Aaron's mouth is negativity. He's complaining about work and the house not being cleaned. whatever.
My resolutions are more spiritual than anything. I want to be a shining example of God's love and I want to be the person God wants me to be. I want for the people I love to know God. I want a lot.
I gotta go.
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