Dumpster Diver

I've been up since 6am going through bags of trash, garbage, refuse.  Why?  Aaron decided that he wanted to clean last night.  At 2 o'clock in the morning.  And he was mad because I wasn't helping and he wanted it done immediately.  I was asleep and woke up to him throwing all kinds of stuff away.  His logic "If it's in the floor then it must be trash."  Mind you, if I went with this so-called "logic"  a lot of his shit would be missing.  Tools, clothes, headphones, paperwork.  I tried to explain to him that the things that he was throwing away were not originally on the floor.  I had put the paperwork on the desk, he threw it on the floor.  I put some things on the bed, he threw them on the floor.  Some items were on top of the dresser, he threw them on the floor.  Needless to say, he threw away some things of importance.  The strap to my train case (which wasn't on the floor, it was in the storage space with the tools), my electronic Scrabble game, a memoriam from a good friend's funeral, a couple of items from work, and some of Courtney's socks. UGH!


I am not a neat freak, okay.  He has known that about me for 10 years and it's still a very big issue with us.  He wants me to clean.  But he won't.  He claims that I am the problem and that if I weren't here that the place would stay clean.

Okay, so here's my logic:


1.  I am home more often than him, and with two kids.  It's not that easy to pick up after 3 people constantly.  If I weren't here, the kids wouldn't be either, so there would only be 1 person to pick up after.


2.  I have more stuff than him.  If I weren't here, my things wouldn't be either.  Less things, less opportunity for clutter.


3.  I am not dirty, I'm messy.  By this I mean that my house is deep cleaned, sanitized, swept, mopped, vacuumed, scrubbed, dusted, on an almost daily basis.  I may not pick up my shoes out of the living room,  the diaper bag off the floor, or my purse off the table, but I clean... not just straighten.  He has NEVER scrubbed the toilet/tub/shower, mopped, vacuumed, cleaned the litter box, dusted, sanitized counters, or washed anyone's clothes other than his own.  AND the ONLY reason he washes his own clothes now is because I REFUSE to do it for him anymore.  I was my clothes and both of the kids clothes.  And I had to teach him how to use a washer and dryer.  He's been catered to his whole life.  I am his wife, not his maid, not his mother.  If I weren't here, sure the place would LOOK tidier, but the toilet would be disgusting, the shower slimy and molded, the floors sticky, dust everywhere... you get the picture.


Anyway, he tells me not to treat him like a child, yet I have to wake up at 5am to make sure he's up for work, I have to cook his dinner because he doesn't know how, I used to have to wash his clothes...  


I don't mind doing things for my husband, but only when I know he COULD do them for himself.  I can't go ANYWHERE because he doesn't know how to take care of the baby.  He's not once changed a dirty diaper, and only MAYBE changed 2 pee pee diapers...


It's all a bit overwhelming.  I'm just tired of having the same fight.