2 hours...

I am livid right now! I am angry and hurt and disappointed... I am so done with this whole situation.

My brother Lance is a thief and a liar.  He is a drug user and "hooks" people up. He has a filthy mouth. He is obsessed with pornography. He is an absent father. He has been this way for MANY years. He knows that he is this way. He has acknowledged that his behavior is just as I described. YET, he does nothing about it. He is in and out of jail. And every time he is IN jail, he SWEARS that he is gonna change. BUT, as soon as he gets OUT of jail, he goes right back to his same behavior. He lies to your face about EVERYTHING. He steals ANYTHING he can get his hands on. He is 24 years old and wants to be taken care of and that is EXACTLY what his parents are doing for him. He is catered to and BABIED and GIVEN whatever he wants. INCLUDING free reign over the house that I "share" with my parents. I am CONSTANTLY having to "babysit" him because he is here and I CAN NOT trust him. He has been told before not to be here unless my mom or step-dad were here and to only go into the livingroom, kitchen, and bathroom. NEVER HAPPENED. He has been told he cannot stay here. NEVER HAPPENED. He is STRESSING ME OUT TO THE POINT THAT I WANT TO CURSE AND SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am trying VERY HARD to hold my tongue! I am trying to be NICE! I am trying to WATCH HIM constantly, and take care of my 2 children, and take care of the house and yard, and tend to my marriage, and I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have told my parents how I feel! That's the WHOLE REASON why he wasn't supposed to be here without them here in the first place, so that I DON'T HAVE TO BABYSIT A 24 YEAR OLD LYING THIEF!!!  AND, when my mom found out that he is "hooking people up" with drugs, and lying about having a job, she told him that he couldn't stay here.  The ONLY thing that has changed is that he sleeps IN HIS CAR IN THE FRONT YARD, instead of on the couch! NOBODY IS DOING ANYTHING BUT ENABLING HIM TO DO EXACTLY WHAT HE'S BEEN DOING!!!!!

SO, today, he got to go fishing with my mom and grandfather (nice reward for being a jackass) while I stayed home and cleaned and watered the garden and helped move the fence and decided to be a parent to my 2 kids... My mom gets home and tells me that she talked to Lance and told him to stay away from the house between the hours of 1pm and 3pm.  2 FRICKING HOURS!!!  2 HOURS!  How in the HELL is that supposed to help ME?1?!?!?!?!?!?!  What about the other 22 HOURS A DAY that he is here!??!?!  What about telling him to GET HIS CRAP TOGETHER instead of BABYING him and trying to FIX SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO BE FIXED?!?!?!?!!!???? I am not even giving all the details, but ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!! I try my best to do what I can for this household!!! I try to clean and cook as often as I can! I try and provide food. I do most of the chores inside and out of the house.  I am honest and I don't steal. AND I GET PUNISHED!!!! I HAVE TO CONSTANTLY WATCH LANCE! HE CANNOT BE TRUSTED!!!!!  He walks all over EVERYBODY he meets and uses them to his advantage! He has no respect for others or himself or his children!!!!!!!  I am soooooooo OVER THIS CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO CRY I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PISSED!!!!  GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS HOUSE! WHAT ARE THEY THINKING?!?!?!?! WHY ON EARTH WOULD THEY ALLOW SOMEONE TO DISRESPECT THEM AND THEIR HOUSE AND THEIR PROPERTY LIKE THIS?!?!?!  WHY WOULD ANYONE ALLOW SOMEONE TO DO DRUG DEALS FROM THEIR HOUSE OR FRONT YARD?!!??!?!?!!?!??!?!  WHY?!?!? I have been looking for somewhere to move because AS LONG AS HE IS ALLOWED TO BE HERE WITHOUT MOM OR DONNIE HERE TO TAKE OVER CONSTANT SURVEILLANCE OF HIM, I do not want to be here!!!!!  I hope that I can find something for rent SOON in Courtney's school district!!!!  God, PLEASE, help!!!!!!

And of course I am going to keep my mouth shut. I wouldn't want to make anyone UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I will keep my thoughts and feelings to myself and let people do whatever they want to me, but you're gonna miss me when I'm gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!